Vanquishing Voldemort With The Power Of Song
by J. Mansfield
Summary: Very short, very silly. Snape is drunk. Snape gives Harry a strange potion. Harry vanquishes Voldemort with the power of song. STATUS: All 3 chapters are now up. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All of the characters and settings etc. belong to JK Rowling...but oh, how I wish they were mine instead :(

"Potter! Come test this potion for me!" Snape ordered, dragging a passing Harry into his dungeon. "Drink it!" he screeched, losing his balance and falling flat on the floor.

"Er, Professor, are you drunk?" Harry enquired nervously, giving Snape a hand up from the cold cement.

"Drunk, me? LOL!" Snape giggled, slapping his knee.

"Lol?" Harry whispered. "What's 'Lol'?"

"Nevermind. Sample my potion. Now!" Snape ordered, glaring at Harry.

"Professor, if you brewed it when drunk, I hardly think it's suitable for testing. It could kill me!" Harry protested.

"Nuh-uh. We'll have no talk of death in my dungeons, Harry. I am the most talented potion-maker in the world, ever. What's the worst that could happen!" Snape woozed, digging Harry painfully in the shoulder.

"I could die," Harry muttered under his breath, hurriedly taking a sip of the potion before Snape took away any points from Gryffindor.

"LOL!" Snape screamed. "YOU DRANK IT! LOL!"

Harry glared at Snape. "Yes – you asked me to! And what the hell is 'lol'?"

"Nevermind," Snape sighed dreamily.

"What was the potion you just gave me, Professor?" Harry seethed.

"Dunno. I made it up," Snape confessed whilst pulling out his split ends.

Harry stared, wide-eyed at the drunken Professor. "You...you don't know!" he fumed. "You gave me a potion you randomly made up! I must find Hermione!"

With this, Harry fled as fast as he could, in search of the aforesaid girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I did not make, and do not own, the song "Finally". It was sung by CeCe Peniston. I did not make or own the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", either...

JK Rowling owns all of the characters, settings etc.

"OMG!" Snape gasped as Harry left the room. "Some people are so touchy!"

Eventually, Harry found Hermione. So far, nothing had happened to him, but he was dreading to think of what the potion might do to him. When he finally reached Hermione (in the common room), he took a deep breath, ready to explain to Hermione the course of events.

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.

"Harry...are you alright?" Hermione stammered. "I've been wondering where you were. I'm glad you're here finally."

"F-finally?" Harry quavered.

"Uh..." Hermione began.

"FINALLY, IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE, AND I JUST CANNOT HIDE IT!" Harry bellowed out. The entire common room went silent.

"Harry...why are you singing?" Hermione eventually stuttered.

"I don't...I don't know!" Harry confessed. "Snape was drunk, and he gave me a potion he randomly brewed...perhaps it has something to do with that!"

"Harry...this is bad," Hermione sighed under her breath. "Let's go to the library and look up whatever this potion might be. It has to be in one of the books _somewhere_."

Harry's head lifted suddenly. "S-somewhere?" he gasped.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"SOMEWHERE... OVER THE RAINBOW, WAY UP HIGH..." Harry began to shout. His voice was abysmal, and once again the common room went silent.

Hermione pulled Harry hurriedly through the portrait hole. As they ran along the corridor, Harry was belting out, "Where troubles melt like lemon drops, way above the CHIMNEY TOPPPS..."

Hermione put her hands over her ears. Snape would pay for this.

Once Harry eventually finished the song, he threw one hand over his mouth in shock. "I can't believe I just did that!" he cried.

"Neither can I," Hermione admitted.

Harry sighed. "Hermione?" he cautiously began.

"Yes, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"What's 'Lol'?"

"I don't know!" Hermione confessed. "Perhaps it is a type of plant?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I did not make, and do not own, the song "Food Glorious Food". It is from "Oliver". I didn't create "Wild Thing" either, surprise, surprise. JK Rowling owns all of the characters, settings etc.

"I cannot find the cure anywhere!" Hermione sighed. "I don't even know what the potion was!"

Harry banged his head against the table several times. And then several times more.

"Please, Harry, you're getting dandruff on the food," Hermione gushed.

"F-food?" Harry stammered.

"Oh gosh." Hermione braced herself.

"FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD!" Harry began to scream. "HOT SAUSAGE AND MUSTARD!"

Every student and teacher in the hall turned to face Harry. Snape went bright red and jabbed his food with his fork.

Ron and Hermione each grabbed one of Harry's arms and swiftly led him out of the Great Hall.

Shock horror.

Standing outside the Great Hall was a crowd of Death Eaters, and at their centre was Lord Voldemort himself.

Hermione reacted first. Bolting back through the doors to the Great Hall, she screamed at the teachers, "VOLDEMORT IS HERE!"

Everyone went silent and hastily scrambled up from their chairs, excited. They had been waiting for this moment for a long, long time; the moment that Harry and Voldemort would duel.

"LOL!" Snape bellowed, unable to control himself. "A FIGHT!" The effects of the alcohol had not yet worn off. He ran to join the students who were crowding outside the Hall.

"This is the moment you have all been waiting for!" Voldemort bellowed. "The moment Potter and I determine who is the greater wizard!"

Voldemort began to pace towards Harry. Students moved out of his way.

Harry raised his wand and glared at Voldemort. Smoke billowed from his nostrils.

"Wow," Ron whispered to Hermione, though loud enough for Harry to hear. "He looks positively _wild_."

Harry suddenly stared up at Ron. "W-wild?" he murmured.

"Oh no."

"WILD THING!" Harry began to scream at the top of his voice. "YOU MAKE MY HEART SING!"

Voldemort stopped walking, flabbergasted.

As Harry continued the song, eventually, a small voice piped up. "I do love this song," it announced. It was Lucius Malfoy.

"YOU MAKE EVERYTHING GROOOVY!" he screamed with Harry. His startlingly high pitched voice caused the stain-glass window above the Great Hall to smash.

"STOP!" Voldemort screamed. "END THIS!"

As Voldemort screeched, a small shard of glass landed in his eye.

"The pain!" he shrieked. "The pain!"

With this, Lord Voldemort died.

"LOL!" Snape screamed. "LOL!"

"What's 'lol', Severus?" Professor McGonagall enquired. "Is it a type of plant?"

"LOL! A ty pe of plant!" Snape shook with laughter.

"Well what is it then?" McGonagall persisted.

"Oh. I don't know," Snape confessed. "But the Dark Lord has been vanquished by the power of song!"

"LOL!" Hermione screamed. "Lol!"

Snape turned and gave her a death stare. "Stupid mudblood," he sighed under his breath.

**End.**


End file.
